A Portrait of Dissatisfaction
by ShadowSnowflake13
Summary: When his relationship seemingly starts to fall apart, how can Gilbert find what is troubling his love? And will his own actions be what truly pushes Matthew away? PruCan


A Portrait of Dissatisfaction 

A heavy silence fell throughout the room as Matthew's eyes met Gilbert's in an icy stare. The tension between the two had been building as of late, but now it was starting to become volatile. Gilbert didn't know what to do; it seemed like Matthew was attacking him over nothing. Or at least nothing that he was currently aware of. Matthew's glare was finally broken with the start of his next assault.

"So, do you want to tell me the truth finally?"

"Mattie, I don't understand what you're talking about. What truth is it that you want to know?"

"Gilbert Beilschmidt, do you love me?"

"Of course I love you, Mattie, you're my whole world."

"Why do you keep lying to me? When will you finally acknowledge how you really feel. You live in my house, and you pretend that nothing ever happened that would shake my confidence in you. But something has, and you are simply to idiotic to notice. Why don't you finally quit pretending that you haven't betrayed me and just leave."

"Betrayal? What are you talking about? I love you. This is how I really feel. Mattie, I would never lie to you."

"Sure. Whatever. And you probably said the same thing to Eliza."

Matthew turned and stormed out of the room. Gilbert was left there, standing in shock at his lover's violent reaction. Altercations such as these had been plaguing their relationship for days, and Gilbert couldn't place what had changed in Matthew, until now. His boyfriend was normally so tranquil and sweet, not at all like the spiteful figure who now replaced him.

Gilbert had been trying his hardest to think of what might have been the matter. He thought back to the first time the two had fought. It was a bitter cold day in late September. Matthew had just gotten home from staying with his brother in America, and Gilbert had come home early to surprise him. But when Matthew had returned, his mood had become dreadful. This was the first time that Matthew had accused Gilbert of lying to him, but something stood out in Gilbert's memory about what he had said.

"You haven't really loved me. You didn't in July, and you won't ever."

And now this. It was finally obvious what Matthew was upset about. Gilbert finally realized what he had been missing. Matthew must have found about Eliza. It was common knowledge that the two used to be together, but that never bothered Matthew before. That is, until he found out about the secret kiss they shared back in July. They were trapped together in the heat of yet another meeting. That was, until that day turned into a disaster. In a World Conference gone wrong, the building they were staying in had suffered from structural instability and fell. Separated from the others and hidden under layers of collapsed roofing, the two fell prey to boredom and lingering passions. Gilbert had regretted his actions that day since the two were finally freed, but he had thought those transgressions would remain trapped in the rubble.

But apparently they hadn't, and now Gilbert knew that it would be impossible to apologize to his boyfriend. He simply didn't have words for it, and Matthew would be right not to forgive him. As yet another wave of guilt and anguish washed over him, Gilbert felt the first of many hot tears begin to stream down his face. He fell to his knees and just sat there, crying, hoping and praying that some forgiveness might be found for him, but he simply couldn't find the hope that he needed.

The next morning, Gilbert was gone. He had packed up his things and was going to board a flight to return back home to Germany. The last trace of his presence was a note for Matthew and an old stuffed bird. The note was simply an apology: for overstaying his welcome, for acting oblivious, and for breaking Matthew's heart, the same Matthew who couldn't even come up with the words to openly convict his lover, who was in denial of the whole affair, who would undoubtedly be crushed once again that morning.

The bird, however, was a more symbolic gesture. Gilbert had a pet bird, named Gilbird, after himself, who had stayed behind in Germany when he had come to Canada to live with Matthew. As a sort of welcoming gift, Matthew had bought the stuffed toy for Gilbert, to keep him company in place of his pet. Perhaps, Gilbert thought, that Matthew would remember him that way, and all the happy memories that they had shared, rather than the hurtful ones.

Gilbert made it as far as the airport's lobby when he was stopped. Flashing lights and people rushing back and forth all faded from his memory. The beeps and buzzes and idle chatter that filled the space all died away as he heard the sound of his name, called frantically by a voice he never thought he'd hear again.

"Gilbert! Wait!"

"Matthew?!"

"Gilbert, I'm sorry. Don't leave. I…"

Gilbert didn't even have time to begin to think of what he might say, as he was quickly pulled into Matthew's arms, colliding with him into a warm embrace. It was comforting to feel the soft touch of Matthew's hands that he had been missing these past few days. It was a relief that they were back together again, no matter how broken they still were.

"Matthew, I don't have the words to say how sorry I am for what I did. I acted without considering the consequences, and I hurt you. Nothing can take away that pain, but I hope you might forgive me, so that we can stay friends at least."

"No, no. Gilbert, I still love you. You're an asshole, but you're still my boyfriend. And yeah, I still feel pretty hurt about what happened, but I know that we can do this, together."

Passerby and onlookers would never have guessed what would make these two men cry like they did that day. Gilbert, given a chance at redeeming himself, to stay in Canada with lover and to become a better person, and Matthew, who was still wearing his pajamas and was infinitely grateful that the one person he would truly love didn't just leave him forever. The two knew that they still had a lot to say, apologies and attempts at making things right again, but they were still together. They were together, and they would never leave again.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading once again! I wrote this awhile back and wanted to share it. PruCan is one of my favorite Hetalia pairings, so I wanted to try writing for it, but it turned out all sad. But at least there is a definite happy ending. The part in the middle about Elizabeta is in reference to another fic I started writing and haven't finished yet, but I might decide to post that later. Stay tuned for potentially more to this plotline!**


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